I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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