You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
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The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
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Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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