I cannot find my penis.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
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