thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
