you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize