I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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