Little spoons don't ask big questions
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
