you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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