Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
