I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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