I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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