I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
