he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize