OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize