wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
