I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
