my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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