And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
