To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
