ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
