I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
