Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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