the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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