my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
