I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
