from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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