Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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