shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
