Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
