She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
