You're my little dorito
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
