you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
