Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize