Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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