..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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