My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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