How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
