Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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