On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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