He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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