Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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