Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
