Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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