Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
