Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
