You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
