fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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