This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
