just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
