whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
