My friends, they love my intelligence
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
