I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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