he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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