All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
