i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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