the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
