Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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