tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
