Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
