So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
