toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your dad touched me again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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