guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
